Nicole Kidman interview: grief, ageing and a summer of stillness

Nicole Kidman is rarely out of work, so it is striking to hear her say she is planning a break. In a cover story for Allure titled “On a High”, the Oscar winner gets honest about grief, getting older, motherhood and why she needs to slow down. This Nicole Kidman interview is far more thoughtful than the glossy setting suggests.

Writer Danielle Pergament spoke to her in two Nashville locations, her hometown: a spa’s dual hyperbaric chamber, which is a pressurised capsule with raised oxygen levels, and the non-profit Belcourt Theatre. The full piece is on Allure.

What the Nicole Kidman interview says about grief

Kidman recently lost her mother, and she is open about how deeply it has changed her. She says it altered every part of her, and admits to feeling a little embarrassed, as if she has talked about it too much already. Yet she explains that the love was so strong that the loss could only be transformative. She calls it the “year of magical thinking”.

It is a moving admission from someone who has played some of the most emotionally layered characters of recent decades, from Big Little Lies to The Hours. She is currently back in Nine Perfect Strangers, where season two sees her play wellness guru Masha Dmitrichenko.

Getting older, with humour

At 57, Kidman looks remarkable, but she says she has made peace with ageing. She has always thought of herself as a person who looks ahead, and she describes the sudden realisation that there is now more time behind her than in front. That change in ratio, she says, becomes a big thing.

She keeps her sense of humour, though. Her mother used to say it was hard being five foot ten and a half, and Kidman jokes that she has not shrunk at all and will be happy when she does. Her broader philosophy is to stop wishing for things, keep moving forward and get on with it.

Being a mother

Kidman has two daughters with her husband Keith Urban, and two children from her earlier marriage to Tom Cruise. She says her relationship with her daughters keeps evolving as they grow into young women. Her role now is to be a guide, and she values being able to apologise to them as well as stand her ground. She likes the relationship they have.

Her honesty is what makes the piece land. There is no polished sound bite about moving on, just a woman describing a loss that is still very fresh and letting it be what it is.

Big questions and the stars

She did not join the recent all-women Blue Origin trip to space, but the subject sent her thoughts wandering to childhood dreams of becoming an astronaut. She still has that curiosity, musing on what it means to be here at all. She would love to see Earth from space, and then come back home.

A summer of stillness

After eight projects in two years, Kidman says she is ready to rest. Host Nikki Glaser even joked at the Golden Globes that she is the hardest-working woman in show business. Kidman’s plan is to take the summer off, and she makes a point that many of us could use: giving too much of yourself is bad for your health, and it means you are not saying to yourself that you matter.

It is good to hear such a busy star give herself permission to stop. A bit of stillness might be the best thing any of us can add to the diary.